Wednesday, October 27, 2004
going back to Texx0rzby Raspil
there is a homework assignment at bluecad for your asses while i'm gone
do it or don't, it's still a free country (for a few more days, anyway).
<3
1:34 AM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
by tony piercehot chick drove me home last night. hadnt seen her in a long time. she looked good as always. has a stupid boyfriend who i dont approve of. plus hes going away til mid-november meaning that good shit is going to be wasting away in her hollywood hills bungalow.
she was driving me home so we could pick up my computer at my buddy's house. when we got home i had a message from him saying that the computer wasnt fixed yet.
overwhelmed that this hot chick really was going to wait for her lame ass man to get back from his latin tour And the fact that my computer was not going to be mine for another day i got on my knees and put my head down on the couch like a man about to weep.
she asked, are you praying?
i was all, no.
i explained how incredibly depressed ive been getting with no computer to escape to. it also sucks that i dont really have any hotties to date right now and its been two months since ive had any sex.
not that i cry much, but if i did, i would have been close to tears at the prospect of another day wasted watching whatever was on tivo.
"would it make you feel any better if i showed you my tits?" she asked.
no.
i mean maybe.
nice tanned gorgeous titties.
she laid back on the couch and i hugged her. i didnt want to see any titties that i could fuck. i didnt want to be with any chick who had picked a lesser over me.
i nibbled at her neck cuz it was there. she said no kissing. so i said can i bite? she said yes. so i bit at her neck and she arched her hips. we were getting warmed up immediately. fucking was never our problem. in truth we had very little problems.
she left me cuz i wouldnt be her official man. dont ever leave a guy for that ladies. official men are just as lame as unofficial men so if you have something good keep it no matter what he feels comfortable being called.
before i knew it my hand was under her ass and she was lifting up so my fingers could make their way to her wet pussy. ah wet pussy. so long its been since my fingers have touched that. they hadnt forgotten what to do. i pushed my nose under her ear i pushed my knee into her crotch and i worked those fingers.
we got up and she turned her back to me and i felt her up and down and she bent her ass into me. i pulled her pants down and slapped her ass hard for being a bad girl. she loved it and didnt move. so i slapped the other cheek as hard as i could. i knew her man wasnt like this. i knew there was a reason she was back. i knew no one could beat me at certain things and theres no way he could beat me at this despite her earlier saying that he and i were "different" that neither was "better."
i was better.
i said lets go to the bedroom. she said to do what. i said so we can lay down and talk. she laid down and i took off my pants. she said uh. i said my dick is so sensitive, i cant have it rubbing against these new jeans.i got naked and flipped her over and slapped her again. i kissed her ass. i bit her ass. i slapped her once more. i flipped her over and pulled off her panties and she didnt resist. i went down on her despite her saying that she hadnt shaved her snatch in a week. like i hadnt ever eaten a non-shaved pussy before? two months. i wouldnt have cared if it looked like don king down there.
i licked like a starving student. i finger fucked her. i did everything i could so that i could distract her as i reached for my nightstand drawer with my condoms.
no condoms she said as she caught me. she knew i wouldnt fuck her without one so i flipped her over and rubbed my bare cock up against her bare ass. i reached around to her titties and heard her moan. i snuck into the condom drawer and she knew she wanted it. i put the condom on and she spread her legs and i was in.
i fucked her hard for two minutes. maybe one. i had beat off earlier that morning but it didnt help. after all the passion and danger and wrongness that we were up to i was ready to come quickly. i didnt want to come even though i did want to. but mostly i didnt want to let her man win. he was the one who came in minutes not me.
so i told her to get up and i bent her over the side of the bed. this girl has a perfect ass. impossible not to want to squeeze or slap or bit or kiss or fuck. i grabbed it and fucked her doggy and for some reason that second wind put everything back where it should be. i was able to whallop her from behind and she loved it. the rolling stones played on the boom box. the neighbors hearing moans they hadnt heard in a long time squeaked on the wood floors above me, and the bed creaked like it should.
she came maybe four times but who's counting. all i know was i coulda done it that way for another half hour. we got back on the bed this time missionary and she said dont come inside me. she knew i had a condom on but she wanted to be extra safe. was she gonna marry this mf-er? i fucked her as hard as i could for 30 seconds and when i was about to come i pulled out and came in my condom on her belly.
when we were done she examined my condom and didnt see a lot of jizz in there and questioned me and i was all, baby, i came this morn. she was all, whats that on my belly? i said thats your come you horny dirty sexy ho. she was all, whats that white stuff on the base of your dick? i said thats more of your cum and if you dont see that on your man its cuz youre not in to it with him like you are with me.
she washed up, gave me a hug and drove home.
and today i feel a tad guilty but not really.
not really at all.
cuz no matter what that girl knows that shes mine. no matter what limp dicked whiteboy is snoring next to her.
9:13 AM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
In 24 hours, I will be in the Salt Lake International Airport (international = occasional flights to New Mexico) with an e-ticket somewhere on my way for a weekend of non-stop sex and Mexican food in Austin with some hot steak. I haven't seen him in about four or five years and we broke up three years prior to that. We've aged, grown, gotten some more bruises along the way, but now we're both highly ripe. This should be fun. I'll be back Monday.by Raspil
4:20 AM
Friday, August 20, 2004
we're missing something.by angelina
when i start a dancefloor, there are a few things i can count on. my knowledge of the dynamics that go into getting things started make me want to hire myself out. in the end though, i'm far too happy doing it for free plus if compensation for pro styles ever came up i'd just ask for shots and ecstasy.
but it's bigger. than both.
at first, when i get out there? since i'm a woman people immediately pay attention,. i'm no fabulous dancer. thing is though that i'm not scared, either.
i came of age in a high school full of rowdy black teenaged girls. there is nothing. and i mean this, so listen. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING. that some club-addicted jcrew, indie or too cool for schoool girl could say to ne that hasn't been said to me with more sass and cruelty. nothing any square could accuse me of to make me cringe. i've been through trial by fire with the best.
so yeah. people notice that bit of bold. bold is sexy and they get that point across with attention. it's not concentrated stares or real interaction. just quick peeks and nods. so i keep it up.
then. some time into my maneuvering, two girls (it's almost always two. almost never more or less) decide to give it up a little bit.
immediate dancefloor lesson for even the greenest girl is that boys are like squirrels. shiny objects are the only things that matter. most females can't stand losing center stage, so a couple of them will come out.
when that happens i get happy. there are a handfull of us. all dancing. all women.
five minutes later a boy gets savage and steps out to put his bid in. that takes heart but he gets rewarded. cause see? he has his pick. player's holiday due to wall to wall female exhibitionism and his willingnes to offer something. he's golden for several moments and that's just deluxe.
once one dude comes his friends get interested cause boys are competitive also. and that's a mixed gender bag so word. it's rolling.
fifteen or twenty minutes or sometimes an hour after i've started feeling the dj i've got a dancefloor. i don't sleep on it. savvy? it just takes time. bravehearts. word.
i feel like that with this blog. we need somone who'll start a fire and make sure that it burns. suggestions? comments? inflamatory statements that you're willing to back up?
come with them.
much as i like this idea, it's dragging a leg or two.
you show me yours and i'll show you mine. scout's honor.
2:21 AM
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Things men have done or said which cause us females to talk shit and name names.by dehumidifier
In other words, guys...write these down and try not to do them.
-Leaving a person ten seconds after said person fell down an entire flight of stairs. This is a breach of common decency.
-Stopping mid-sex to ask "what the hell are you doing?"
-Being with a different girl every night out...which is quite often. This applies to many guys, actually. It becomes ridiculously predictable in its unpredictability.
-Forgetting to mention the presence of a girlfriend, even in passing, after talking to someone for what I consider a considerable length of time. Months, even.
-Giving tips on bulimia.*
-Ignoring a girl on her birthday in lieu of a shallow hook up.
-Owning more hair product than me.
-Deciding the best way to break up with someone is to simply stop calling, and then proceed to ignore this person for almost a year.
-And then after a year decide to become a giant mindfuck by hitting on me.
That's all for now, though I'm sure I'll think of more in time. Hell, I could probably formulate an entirely new list after one night out.
*didn't actually happen to me, but does reference one of the guys responsible for other things on this list.
2:47 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
by bunny mcintoshScarnsworth is writing a book on how to get laid in the '00 so I thought I'd put my 2 cents in on behalf of the ladies. I present:
bunny mcintosh's guide to getting action
First of all, go some where people you want to do hang out. like the pet store. or hawii. people are always buying groceries. Look for people with good groceries, like brand names, that way you can avoid dating more poor people. Also, avoid vegetarians, as they are all pussies, and will probably cry a lot in the future.
Next, make something up about yourself. Like say you used to be Diana Ross' daughter's best friend. Men love that. It makes their wives seem boring and fat.
If you want to date a hot guy in a band, tell them that you don't date musicians, because they're all stupid. This drives them wild. Especially lead singers, who find your candor and domineering attitude very exciting.
If a man has a strong ideological stand point, don't talk to him anymore. He's just going to end up being bad in bed and you're going to have to hear some lame lecture where he mostly quotes Ayn Rynd or Sid Vicious and assumes that you've never read a book before.
Most girl's problem is that they're all worried about getting rejected. Don't worry about this. Sure, you'll get rejected, but it's no big deal if you stay drunk enough. But go ahead and keep a chloroform soaked rag in your purse, just to be on the safe side. That way, if you're stripping in your room and the guy becomes horribly afraid, you can knock him out and leave him in the hall with no memory of the events leading up to this unfortunate instance. Also, never feel insecure, because boys who don't want to make out with you are gay, regardless of any real reasons they might have.Do not be afraid to make the first move, unless you like the person and want to get to know them.
The main thing is, have a reason to get people to come to your apartment. If you're at a loss, choose from this list:
1) I have a new pet. Do not worry if this is a lie. Usually they'll forget once you take your shirt off.
2) Would you like some candy? Also-- if you don't have any real candy, just say you lost it.
3) I just got the Office DVD. This works, because it is the best show on television, and regardless of whether or not they want to bone you, you at least get to watch the Office DVD again.
4) I have weed. People always want to either smoke weed, or watch you smoke weed. If you don't have any weed, just say your fucking hippie roommate stole it.
5) I need help moving a dresser.This works pretty well with ex boyfriends for some reason.
6) I wrote a song about you. Don't worry if you don't know how to write songs. All you have to do is learn "More Than This" by Roxy Music. Straight guys don't listen to Roxy Music. If the guy has good fashion sense, or is British, you may have to learn a different song, though.
7) I have to be home in case my hot lesbian room mate needs a back rub. Use this only if things get extremely desperate, as people tend to become disappointed and belligerent when they find out that you have no hot lesbian room mate and that your name isn't even really Jessica.
If this doesn't work, then there are other things you can do, like whisper extremely filthy things in their ear at the bar. Or tell them that you're going to inherit millions of dollars in three months.
When they wake up in a ditch behind the navy school after the hottest sex they've ever had, they won't even care that you're a completely deceptive psychopath. Or that they're missing their wallet.
Play on, player.
2:50 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
New photoshoot over at bluecad. Man, this place needs an adrenaline shot quick, Mrs. Mia Wallace-style.by Raspil
11:58 PM
