Friday, May 07, 2004  
At the rate I'm going I'll spend thirteen grand this year on coke.

Thirteen grand is roughly one hundred sixty two pairs of new sneakers. Adidas, Pumas, Nikes, Sauconys, those cute little no-name ones that Asian daddy's girls wear.

Or one hundred fifty pairs of sneakers and one hundred pairs of cute socks with logos and pom poms to match, if you'd like to look at it another way.

I'm hoping that this immensely superficial reality check will do what shining a flashlight up my nose to reveal coke-eaten trenches did not.

What losing four boyfriends did not.

What planning my weeks around my up then down then up state of mind cannot.

What feeling like dying on a daily basis does not and will not.

One hundred and sixty two pairs of sneakers. Up my nose in three hundred and sixty five days. I'm gonna do another line and think about that.
by Ramona The Brave
1:50 AM


   Wednesday, May 05, 2004  


i've always got a set of words stuck in my head. i'd say "sentence", but most times it isn't a complete set. i'd say "phrase" but that implies something pre-established, and sometimes it isn't. a set of words though, i am never without.

it usually pops up when there's a lull. between thoughts. at stoplights. in the shower. just out of nowhere i find myself thinking it and i never know what to apply it to.

it is most always dramatic and unnecessary.

as of yesterday around midnight it was, "the one thing i *can't* afford..." like, the beginning of telling someone off, sorta. initiating a tirade. i'd be doing my nails and for no reason think that thought. nothing else. no follow up.

i kinda dug it cause really there's a gang of shit i *can't* afford. plus it seemed so self-assured. very hands on hips and rebellious tossing of hair from my eyes. i think that one stuck around for at least a month.

before that it was, "what about the farewell drugs?"

pretty fucking sassy. and well. you kinda *have* to love nancy. even if you hate her. people with that kind of pull are delish, i don't mind them crowding my dome.

but today? like, as of this morning? my special guest words are, "but i thought you *loved* me."

the fuck? do people even say that?

apparently my mind does. and rather often. like at least six times today. there are so many things wrong with that sentence that i won't start enumerating them. let that punk shit simmer.

and hopefully. well. with any luck it will soon be replaced with something a little more worthy of the butterfly knife i keep in my garter belt. word.
by angelina
12:39 AM


   Monday, May 03, 2004  
So it's graduation weekend. Yep, on Saturday morning I will officially have something only 1 in 4 Americans has. A college diploma. Yay for me right? This should be a pleasant experience, walking across that stage, shaking the hands of some of the most influential people in my life... yeah, then I get to stand awkwardly in the middle of my divorced parents and their new significant others while trying to keep the peace between both sides of the family who absolutely violently hate each other.

But it's ok because two of my married boyfriends will be there.

If not more.
by Daisy-Girl
4:50 PM