Thursday, March 18, 2004  
My ex, after nearly a year of silence, decided to speak to me the other night. The conversation went something like this-
Him: God, you look gorgeous.
Me: (turning around, walking away)
by dehumidifier
11:46 AM


   Sunday, March 14, 2004  
For three years I lived with a really hot/ whinny/ sexy / neurotic/ talented man who yelled at me to shut the cabinets all the time. Still, this was sort of worth it, as I did not have to drive anywhere to get sexed up whenever I felt so inclined. Now I live alone in a "refurbished" hotel room by myself, in which case the word "refurbished" is more of a lie than anything else.
Basically I provide my own bed, is the difference.
And my own paint, suckers, even though I'm losing my deposit.

After me and hot/ whinny split up, I decided it would be in my Best Personal Interests to live alone.
I couldn't stand the thought of some bimboing dorks telling me what to do if they weren't even going to make out with me afterwards.

The key differences are several:

1) I have turned my porch into a "garbage repository" as to avoid taking the trash out, which he generally did. By generally, I mean 100% of the time.
2) I have upped security measures from yelling "what the hell was that" to duct taping a knife to the other end of my mag light. The mag light is now a powerful weapon of justice, and, provided the attacker doesn't rip off the weapon part, I am like a crappy, poor X Man.
It also serves as a pretty good way to find boxes under your bed, and then open the boxes.
3) Rollerskating naked has become a major part of my daily routine.
4) So has writing messages in lip stick on mirrors because there is no one to say "what does 'syc suckyub monky bals' mean?" I know what it means, and that is all that matters.
5) My bed room is hot pink and pretty much all "gayed up" looking.
6) everything I own is on a shelf where I can reach it. When this isn't the case, I employ a broom handle to reach. Just like in prison.
7) If I can't open something, I simply throw it at the floor in a fit of violent rage
8) I no longer pay bills, as I have a hard time remembering to do so
9) If I don't feel so inclined, or, if none is readily available, I don't use cuttelry
10) My house is not fifty fucking five degrees below anymore because I don't have to hear about how he's not "from GA" and how he "pays the bills too, you know" and he doesn't "want to have to be a nudist" just cause I am and how he "wants to turn the living room into an ice rink" because he is a "sadist" and won't just put on some "shorts" instead of running the air all fucking day.

It's really pretty nice, even though I miss all sorts of things. Like his baking.
by bunny mcintosh
1:09 PM